Advice to friends...

...the friends that are planning on procreating, that is.

My mom's group is officially over (although we are continuing to meet until we all go back to work) but I have learned a heck of a lot from the other new mom's and babies over the past three months.
We were all surprised by a few things here and there.
However, to speak only for myself, here is a list of things (in no order whatsoever) that I believe should be shared with other women who may be about to have tiny ones in their house. I have left out some of the gory details but I am happy to discuss them with those of you who want to hear it!

1) That head of hair that got thicker quickly gets thinner. And thinner and thinner. Your hair will be all over the place for months and months to come. It's really gross and I now understand why many new mothers get it all cut off. It's not just the hair pulling by the baby, it's also the bald spots and child-sized ponytail holders.

2) The mood swings that occur during pregnancy can get much worse AFTER pregnancy, or they could get better. For me...worse.

3) No matter how great a husband one has, no matter how much stuff he does or tries to do, it's never enough.

4) No matter how great YOU are and how much stuff YOU do, it's also never enough.

5) It is likely you will gain 3- 5lbs for every week on bed rest. It will take much longer to lose then it did to gain.

6) Some woman experience the immediate "I LOVE THIS BABY SO MUCH!" from the moment she gives birth. For others it takes awhile. It's not that you don't love the baby, it just isn't the overwhleming craainess that occurs a month or so later. Once you get over that "Holy Shit! I just gave birth!" phase. Then it's a love that is seriously unstoppable.

7) Giving birth isn't fun. It isn't pretty before, during, or after. If you haven't had a baby yet and want to know some of the gritty details you should call or email me directly. I'm not posting about the yucky stuff on a blog, that's for damn sure! But seriously, it's icky. Just be sure to bring home everything those nurses give you, and try to get lots of extras!

8) Spending some time with other new moms will save your sanity.

9) Always cover a baby boy's penis immediately after taking off the diaper. You may use a wipe, or a peepee teepee. This will prevent any peepee mishaps.10) Get a dishwasher if you don't have one. If you can't find a mechanical/electrical one, hire some teenager from down the street to come over twice a day to wash your dishes. Otherwise life will be all about dirty dishes. ALL about them. Well, dishes and the baby, of course.

11) It's depressing to have to buy new clothes that are 1-3 sizes bigger then what you wore a year ago. You will avoid it for as long as you can. You will wear sweatpants all the time, you will wear your maternity clothes even, but you will need to admit that at some point you should just buy yourself at least one pair of what you perceive to be "fat jeans". You will not want to spend any money on said jeans. You should, however, spend some money. Spend enough to make your butt look good so you aren't even more depressed every time you put them on.13) Also, buy a few shirts that cover up your newly squishy belly.

14) Sometimes nothing makes you want to leave the house. Even on days that this is true you should always leave the house at least once a day.

15) Shower every day, and even try some make up. You'll feel icky otherwise. Some women find this impossible. I just dropped everything as soon as Isaac fell asleep. I still try this although it's not always so succesful.

16) Play with the smiley baby as much as possible. Nothing in the world is better then the big smile of your little, tiny person.

17) The nurses in the delivery room will become your best friends. And take advantage of the nurses in the room you stay overnight in as much as possible. You will need them! And stay as long as you can in that hospital.

18) You may have trouble in the peeing department. I'll leave it at that.


You've heard enough from me.
I'm off to watch Mad Men.
Goodnight!